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Name: Noam D. Gear
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When I am President of the United States

If you elect me to be the next President of the United States, I promise you these ten things:

1.      I promise to reduce the size of Government.  The Government cannot grow at 10% to 20% while the economy that feeds the government shrinks at -6%. 

2.      I promise to speak less, and do more.  I promise to sit at my desk for long periods.  The cameras will be shut off at times.  I will quietly read budget documents, and quietly understand them.  I promise to speak in firm details, not liquid generalities.

3.      I promise to read legislation before I sign it.  I promise that I will never insist that an Act of Congress is too important to read, or too urgent to allow the American People a chance to provide feedback.  I will cut budgets in ways nobody thought possible.

4.      I will not use the government to dole free stuff to people, because it isn’t free.  Government must take about $13 from the economy in order to give back $10 of “free” stuff. I will let you keep your money and wish you well in using it to solve your own problems.

5.      I promise that hard times will come upon businessmen, bankers, farmers, lawyers, contractors, unions, media, universities, lobbyists, and religious groups who think that Government is their personal “ pot of gold”. No rainbows will end in Washington DC. If people want gold, they will need to earn it from their customers using hard work.

6.      I promise that I will drive the government to spend no more than it takes in.  Mr. Obama’s budget projections imply that we would borrow about $700 from each man/woman/child in China in order to pay for a few insolvent Social Ponzi schemes created by previous liberal Democrats.  We must pay for our obligations by a robust and growing economy, not by borrowing money from impoverished citizens of a communist nation.  At the same time, I will not create any additional Social Ponzi schemes to “solve” the problems that we have today.

7.      I promise to decrease our military deployment levels.  Although this will not save enough money to replenish our bankrupt Social Ponzi schemes, it is important that we do not to spread military power too thinly in the world. Obama’s “Surge in Afghanistan” was designed to sound good on television, not to win a war.  If nobody can provide a reasonable strategy, I will get our troops out of Afghanistan.

8.      I promise that I will blame Obama for my problems, just as Obama blames Bush.  However, unlike Obama, I will criticize in order to stop reckless spending, not accelerate it by three fold.

9.      I promise that I will not prosecute Obama, or those in his administration, for differences in policies they had in different times and different circumstances.  Even though it might satisfy the all-consuming hatred of a fringe voter group, such prosecutions reek of Totalitarianism.  So they won’t happen.  The corrupt, incompetent, and feckless people of the Obama Whitehouse will be judged by History, not an Attorney General.  We will have much more important things to do.

10.  I promise to return the task of caring for people in need to citizens, because Government has thoroughly fumbled that task.  Each citizen is better at determining how much  of their own resource to give to people in need.  You are also better at sorting out genuine human need from bogus claims of entitlement.  Government is clueless about both .  When I am President, there will be many fewer government straws for lazy and corrupt people to suck on, and so you will keep much more of your money.  Thus, if you want to avoid living in a lousy place, then make sure you are as generous as you can be with people who truly need your generosity.

When I am elected President of the United States, these will be my promises.  These will be my priorities.  It may sound absurdly haughty of me. However, if Dennis Kucinich could speak of himself as President, then so may I.


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Obamacare for my Houses

I have a plan for renovating my houses. I know you Obama supporters will just love the plan, and that it will make perfect sense to you. Here it is.

I have two huge and expensive houses. I call them “Medicare” and “Medicaid”, but both houses have a problem. A large portion of each house is a complete mess. They are jammed with waste materials and corrupted structures. There are large areas where nobody can live, but it costs a lot to heat them. The houses would have much more space if I could get rid of the waste and corruption in them, but I can only get rid of the waste and corruption by using it to build a third house, which I will call “Obamacare” once it is built. You don’t need to know why nothing has ever been done about the waste and corruption. It isn’t important.

The good news for you is that there is so much waste and so much corruption in my first two houses that the new house will be even bigger than both of the first two, combined. But wait! There’s more! We even have enough waste and corruption to pay the 53 teams of carpenters who will construct the third house. These special carpenters are called “bureaucrats”.

I know it sounds expensive, but don’t worry, because I have calculated that the cost of building the new house will be paid for by the benefits of having three clean and efficient houses—with no waste or corruption in any of them. On a net basis, I guarantee that the new house will cost “not one dime”.

That is why I am confidently asking you to lend me more money than any home-owner has ever borrowed in history. Don’t worry; the people that move into the new house will be so much more productive that they will pay it all back to you. But I should add that people who already have good houses will not likely be staying in our new house. It is really intended for people who don’t have any place else to go.

Lastly, to make sure that the new house doesn’t wind up like the old houses, I have asked the same people who ran the old houses to also run the new house. I know that sheer intelligence is difficult for stupid people to see some times. So, I am sure that true Obamacare supporters will quickly see the sheer intelligence of this plan, because they are so smart. Lastly, I would just remind you that you shouldn’t fear the future, or believe any misinformation. Don’t believe any videotape of me saying the opposite of anything I am saying here. This is our moment! This is our time! Together, we can! Hope! Change! We are what we are now waiting for!

Unfortunately, because people are suffering, there is little time for questions, and no time for answers. So please show your support for Obama by sending me your money today.
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Co-Dependence

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Lawyer Care

I hear it preached from various people that those of us who oppose government take-over of healthcare do so out of callous disregard for the plight of millions of uninsured people we have. 
This is a completely bogus charge, tossed out as a diversionary tactic by those who cannot begin to explain the legislation they support so strongly.

I oppose government take-over of healthcare because it will make the availability of medical care worse, not better. This is because Democrats in power cannot confront the root cause driving up the high cost of health care. Democrats own and profit from those that root cause, and will not be fixing it any time soon.

The root cause is that the government currently allows tort lawyers to create and feast upon ruined Doctors via frivolous malpractice litigation that has spiraled out of control.  Rampant “Jackpot Justice” has driven the sharp increases in insurance costs, and higher consumer prices.  However, the legislation being contemplated does nothing at all to curb that abuse, and therefore it does nothing at all to fix the real problem.

Indeed, once all Doctors work for the Federal Government, all lawyers who sue Doctors for a living will sue the Federal Government for a living, and they will win their frivolous cases much more often than they do now.  The money will be paid out using “Healthcare Money”, and so there will be even less money available for treating sick people than there is now. 

Meanwhile, Tort Lawyers will live grandly, with a little help from four sorts of people:  Lawyer-in-Chief Obama; the 216 Lawyers in Congress; the nine Lawyers of the Supreme Court; and lastly, the devoutly gullible political base of the Democrat Party.  In gratitude, Lawyers will continue as the largest donors of campaign cash to Democrats.

To sum up, the left is working to portray those who oppose socialized healthcare us as heartless monsters, but I make the reverse charge. Anyone who supports the Government seizure of the healthcare industry is actually the “heartless monster”, and brainless too.


Tags: Lawyer care  
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Socialist Dicatators Grow On Trees

It is hard work to spend every day picking fruit from trees that produce it, and scotch-taping that fruit to the trees that would have none otherwise-- so that the orchard will appear to be a more “fair” place. But Mr. Obama took a break from his self-important toil just long enough to show us his true sympathies in world affairs.

In Iran, Obama stayed mum while a brutal dictator slaughtered his own people in the streets.  Obama explained the dullness, dimness, and lateness of his criticism by pointing out a need to “see how the situation would unfold”.

A week later, with Honduras, when former President Zelaya made an anti-constitutional move to extend his term beyond the legal limit; and when the Legislative, Judiciary, and Military branches of government moved together to prevent him from becoming a Socialist Dictator, then Obama waited for nothing to “unfold” before emptying his whole sack of negative rhetoric upon the law-abiding branches of the Honduran government.  In this, Obama essentially demanded that President Zelaya be allowed to resume his illegal efforts to become a dictator.

Take note people. 

Money grows on certain trees, but Socialist Dictators grow on all the rest.


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Stupid is, Also, as Stupid Doesn't

“Stupid is as stupid does”, said Mama Gump.
Building from there, I would now add, "Stupid is, also, as stupid does not"

I realized this second rule upon seeing a Congress does both of the following.
  • Rails against mortgage brokers who trick people into signing documents before they can read or understand them
  • Insists that bills spending trillions of dollars should be voted upon without anyone having time to read or understand them.
With the new Democrat Government, it appears that the larger the dollar figure spent in a bill, the less time is spent reading it or debating it Congress. Comparing the time spent on Bush’s stimulus (26 days for $145 Billion) to the time spent on Obama’s stimulus (one day for $780 Billion), I estimate that a new bill proposing to spend $810 Billion could possibly be voted upon prior to being written, printed, or handed out to members of Congress.

Yesterdays “Cap and Trade”energy tax was voted upon with no time for reading, but Obama’s Stimulus was his first that nobody had time to read. That bill spent money at roughly $700 Million per page for over a thousand pages.  We were told all of the following tales about it:
  • The Bill must pass right now, or there will be certain doom;
  • If we waste mere minutes to cut out all the pork projects, the country could fail;
  • The Stimulus will “kickstart” the economy;
  • Fraud, corruption, and abuse will be stopped by Joe Biden and his staff;
  • We repeat, the Bill must pass right now, or there will be certain doom.

Mind you, these are the same people who:
  • Accused George Bush of lurching the country into hasty decisions based upon fear mongering and concocted stories of imminent doom
  • Accused the media of laying down their journalistic integrity out of false fear.
  • Promised to have the most open, honest, transparent, and ethical government ever. 
Ha!  What twaddle!

Worst of all, these are the same people who constantly applaud each other for how smart they are, and how smart their staff, supporters, and advisors are also.  They are all so much smarter than common dolts who do stupid stuff like reading documents before signing on the line, and looking at their account balance before writing a check.

So far, I’m sorry, but I don’t anything remotely “smart” in our new government.  I see a diverse array of stupid ideas, stupid legislation, and stupid people pervading the whole thing.  I don’t trust any of them to dispose of my income in a smarter, fairer, better, or more ethical manner than I can for myself; and I deeply disrespect the devoutly gullible voters who fell for the campaign promises that this Government could.


Tags: congress  
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Obama's Words Not Worth The Air They Are Printed Upon

 
Like millions of Americans this week, I watched the video clip of the killing of Neda Soltani by Iranian thugs who were trying to stop citizens from protesting the sham election of Ahmadinijad.  The sight of her young face becoming flooded with her own blood has indelibly stained my mind in a way that shall not soon fade.
 
This may be horribly un-politically-correct.  However, I must confess that upon seeing the video, I wished that I had been there to stop, deter, harm, or even kill the shooter before he shot Neda Soltani.
 
“Violence is not the answer!” is the banal slogan often chanted by people who stand by while brutal regimes slaughter innocent people. In this slogan, cowardice is perfumed with pacifism so that it smells just like moral virtue.  If you add in the busy shuffling of important documents between your left and right hands…while sniffing your own perfume…while the brutal murders continue all around you… then you have a picture of the United Nations, or its army of tender-minded liberals from the “International Community”. They now call themselves “Foreign Policy Realists”.  It sounds loftier than “Betitled Spectators of Carnage”.
 
The video of Neda moved me to search and find that only one in twenty Iranians own a gun that could have been used to shoot the sniper. If I “Bing” the Internet correctly, it appears that Iran has very restrictive gun laws.  No surprise there. Most oppressive regimes quickly enact laws to take guns from citizens.  Guns are horribly unsafe, you know--just ask Mahmoud Ahmadinijad, Daniel Ortega, Robert Mugabe, Than Shwe ….  They all agree.
 
I wish that President Obama had denounced the Ahmadinijad regime long before the opinion surveys dragged him into it. How could a man who works himself into moral slather over three terrorists being water-boarded seven years ago, now be so blasé about the open-air slaughter of dozens of non-terrorists this very week?  Where else in history has Obama ever closed his mouth and avoided cameras as a tactic of persuasion?
 
Neda Soltani, God blessed us with you.  You have done more to liberate Iran than ten trucks full of United Nations Documents; more than a lake full of pacifist perfume; and more than the sterile, halting, and belated pronouncements of our pitiful “Rock Star” President. His utterances are not worth the air that they are printed upon.


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Sotomayor as the New Archie Bunker

Can you see Judge Sotomayor as the new “Archie Bunker” of our time?
Me too, and not just because she has the same body as Archie Bunker. 
•    She sounds like Archie Bunker.
•    People respond to her like they responded to Archie Bunker.
•    People around her are behaving like Edith Bunker.
•    There is also a new “Meathead”, played by a cast of conservative Republicans.
Can you hear the new “Archie” announce this nugget of racial truth from his brown chair in front of the television set?
“I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

“Hey, Edith! Get me a beer.  I’m dying of thirst over here.  Gheeeez!”

The new Edith Bunker is played by “moderate” Republicans who insist on the same course of action that Edith Bunker always took:
•    Dummy up!
•    Stifle yourself, and don’t provoke “Archie”.
•    Be quiet and stay in your kitchen.
•    Find ways to praise “Archie” for good qualities and accomplishments--which don't exist.
•    Tell people that it is best if they don’t provoke "Archie", or argue with "Archie".
•    Go get "Archie" a beer, or, in this case, a Supreme Court Appointment.

Does anyone out there wish to take a crack at rearranging the theme song?
Could be fun.

Noam

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Bing It For Yourself

I have been looking for a good alternative to Google for a while now, and I was happy to hear about Bing.
Today, I took Bing for a test drive by searching "French Military Victories".

Bing passed the test.

Click here to see the results for yourself.

Noam
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Olberman-- Worn Out Tool

Behold Keith trying to hack at Cheney's superior speech on National Security.
Keith's mouth moved, but all I heard was the sound of a drill bit slipping.



Tags: Olby  
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How Obama will Confront His "Straw Man" Reputation

Being known as a Straw-Man artist is very dangerous thing for a Straw-Man artist.

Obama's only skill is rhretoric.  After that, he is a bungling theoretician, and a blinking noobie.
If he allows the glossy veneer of his rhetoric to be chipped, the world will begin to see the plywood that makes up the other 95% of him.  People will easily see that Obama is actually a bungling theoretician, and that he has no clue what he is doing, and that he is in WAY over his head.

I predict that:
  • Obama will move very decisively to nip this budding reputation for faulty reasoning.
  • Axelrod will plant a pre-designed question into a press conference.
  • Obama will appear to provide a Straw Man, but it won't be. 
  • A reporter will point out the apparent Straw-Man
  • Obama will boldly and sternly rebuke the premise of the question and express annoyance that this is "another example" of somebody thinking they caught him in a Straw-Man Argument.


Look for a phony exchange with a reporter that goes something like this:


Reporter:  President Obama could you describe why you think it best to continue on with further bailouts of GM, and why the government should get involved with GMAC?

Obama:  Well, some have said that we should avoid this action with GMAC, but I say that we cannot deal effectively with the trouble in the automotive sector without dealing with each kind of trouble in the automotive sector.  GM had problems in its credit business that were just as serious as the problems with health care costs.   And so, I am not interested in curing half of this patient. We need to cure the whole patient.

Reporter: But, Mr. President, nobody is really arguing against you in that manner.  Might that not be a little bit of a straw man argument you are using?

Obama:  Absolutely not!  And, frankly, these people who don’t hear the criticisms that I do should check their facts.  You should know that _____________, the Republican from ____________ made this criticism of me while he was eating dinner alone with his wife.  If you were a better reporter, you would have known that before confronting me with this Straw-Man baloney.  Seriously people…we have some work to do here.

Poof…just like that…Obama will slay yet another Straw Man, and will quash his critics, and cow reporters into never noticing his Straw Men again.  

Actually, the exchange will have the bonus in making Obama look like he has command of factual background knowledge superior to that of the "journalists" before him.  The gullible tots of the WHPC will adore him more than ever after he does this to them.

Mark it down.  Predicted on the morning of Memorial Day, 2009.





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Gitmo Prisoners Will Recruit Inmates in our Prison System

Keep your eyes on two things people.
  1. Obama suggests that Maximum Security Prisons are strong enough to hold the Gitmo detainees, but that is no promise that he will actually put them there.  For all we know, he will strike another triangular political compromise.  For all we know, he will toss another bone to his base of stoner crack-head leftists.  Obama could wind up putting the Gitmo detainees in medium-security prisons, or lower.
  2. At Gitmo, terrorists cannot recruit other terrorists because all the inmates around them are already terrorists.  Diluting gitmo detainees into the unspoiled fruitbowl of ordinary murderers, felons, and drug dealers... and others who are eligible for parole... incredibly stupid.  Compounding this is that financial problems could trigger the early release of those who were flipped by the terrorists while they were in prison togeter.  Not just any kind of stupid.  It's Harvard Stupid.
Get ready for another Obama special.  A well-worded policy that is crap to the core.

Noam





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Let Obamaphiles Buy and Drive Obamobiles

No more Honda or Toyota minivans for suburban soccer mom's who supported Obama.
No more BMWs, Lexus, Audi, or Mercedes for upscale urban Democrat liberals.

Nope, Nope, Nope.



From now on, we should demand that Democrats make their whole car into their political statement--not just the rear bumper. They should put their check book where their Obama-Biden stickers are.

From now on, if we don't see the one or two most sanctimonious liberals that we each know driving themselves about town in a brand new "Obamobile" (Chrysler or GM), then they are dirty stinking hypocrites, and we should not miss the opportunity to expose them as such.

In a humble and concerned manner, please ask them:

  • How come you aren't supporting Obama's plan to rescue the economy and the auto industry? 
  • How could you buy that Toyota in a time like this?  Isn't that economic treason
  • Didn't you just tell me that you wished Bush had asked us to make sacrifices in our lifestyles?
  • How could you possibly drive a car that was assembled in a Republican state?
  • Did a UAW worker assemble that, or did you pay for scab labor?
  • Spare parts for thee, but not for me?
  • Does the Federal Chysler Department process warrantee claims faster or slower than green card applications?
I look forward to the Obama/Biden 2012 Bumpersticker becoming the most reliable mechanical component of any new Obamobile, and I look forward to thousands of liberal-bumper-sticker-clad Obamobiles breaking down and proudly littering the ditches of America's roads--as people realize that they may as well just leave it there because that is the least costly option since Obama closed their local dealership anyhow.

The wreckage will provide the Twitter Generation with enduring monuments to honor their own stupidity in thinking that electing a communist didn't matter much.


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Affirmative Action Bakesale Becomes Democrat Law

The “Affirmative Action Bake Sale” concept drives the left crazy, but it is precisely what they will bring upon the whole economy with the Credit Card legislation passed today. People who pay their bills will also pay the bills for people who don’t pay their bills. There will certainly be three sub-trends in the new financial flow from the "haves" to the "have-nots"; race, party affiliation, and credit score. And so, the new law will create an Affirmative Action Bake Sale out of our credit card system.

The new law will instantly drive non-fools to use cash transactions…which will force credit card companies to raise fees on the remaining fools they have...which will cause more of those fools to become non-fools...etc....until the credit card companies are out of business, owing to the fact that their only remaining customers will be those who don’t pay their bills.   Duh!

Once this legislation produces its unintended disaster, I predict that Congress will be faced with a new demand to pass new legislation that will force businesses to charge higher prices for goods if they are purchased with cash. The added prices will then pay the bills of democrat voters and other financially irresponsible people. Precisely at that moment, a bakery owners could put out the following sign...as though it were an Affirmative Action Bake Sale.

Cookies of All Varieties For Sale

Ask for Federal pricing matrix* at the checkout.

Have the following information available:

·         Racial background

·         Credit History

·         Voter Registration

·         *All Cookie prices determined in accordance with Federal Law

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Fighting Conservatives Is Futile

One last caboose of a thought for tonight.

Remember what we all learned from the MSM about the war in Iraq?

"When you fight bad people, you only enable them to recruit more bad people".

Of course, we Conservatives are not so gullible as to actually believe a word of it, but I take the time to repeat this Liberal canard back to Liberals...so to remind them that fighting against conservatives is absolutely counterproductive because it will only enhance our recruitment of other conservatives. 

Remember that, you liberals, before you Troll our Blogs.

Fighting us makes more of us.  Lay down your keyboards and take a nap.
Show us that you follow your own moral orthodoxy.  Prove your morality.  Go away.

Noam



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