Posted by
Noam D. Gear on Sunday, September 13, 2009 6:00:00 AM
I have a plan for renovating my houses. I know you Obama supporters will just love the plan, and that it will make perfect sense to you. Here it is.
I have two huge and expensive houses. I call them “Medicare” and “Medicaid”, but both houses have a problem. A large portion of each house is a complete mess. They are jammed with waste materials and corrupted structures. There are large areas where nobody can live, but it costs a lot to heat them. The houses would have much more space if I could get rid of the waste and corruption in them, but I can only get rid of the waste and corruption by using it to build a third house, which I will call “Obamacare” once it is built. You don’t need to know why nothing has ever been done about the waste and corruption. It isn’t important.
The good news for you is that there is so much waste and so much corruption in my first two houses that the new house will be even bigger than both of the first two, combined. But wait! There’s more! We even have enough waste and corruption to pay the 53 teams of carpenters who will construct the third house. These special carpenters are called “bureaucrats”.
I know it sounds expensive, but don’t worry, because I have calculated that the cost of building the new house will be paid for by the benefits of having three clean and efficient houses—with no waste or corruption in any of them. On a net basis, I guarantee that the new house will cost “not one dime”.
That is why I am confidently asking you to lend me more money than any home-owner has ever borrowed in history. Don’t worry; the people that move into the new house will be so much more productive that they will pay it all back to you. But I should add that people who already have good houses will not likely be staying in our new house. It is really intended for people who don’t have any place else to go.
Lastly, to make sure that the new house doesn’t wind up like the old houses, I have asked the same people who ran the old houses to also run the new house. I know that sheer intelligence is difficult for stupid people to see some times. So, I am sure that true Obamacare supporters will quickly see the sheer intelligence of this plan, because they are so smart. Lastly, I would just remind you that you shouldn’t fear the future, or believe any misinformation. Don’t believe any videotape of me saying the opposite of anything I am saying here. This is our moment! This is our time! Together, we can! Hope! Change! We are what we are now waiting for!
Unfortunately, because people are suffering, there is little time for questions, and no time for answers. So please show your support for Obama by sending me your money today.